Awake and Breathing. Finally.

Spring time is finally here!

I don’t think anyone could not feel happy around this time of year. This spring may even beat Christmas in happiness after this past winter. Though its still very chilly the sun is shining brighter for longer, which makes me happy. This year I’ve been too busy to let my body feel that horrible sadness of vitamin D deficiency. There have been bad days but a lot fewer then previous years. School is going well and I have strong hopes that it will opens doors for me.Β 

I know it’s been a while. I will spare you the excuses, but delight you with – “school is coming upon it’s final couple of weeks, where I will have a full two weeks to catch up with life” The urge to push this blog somewhere is at the front of my mind (mixed with the laws of Canada and other exciting school things etc etc)

Happy Spring ladies and gentlemen!

Nakita XO

The Bigger Photograph

Last week, a Wednesday to be exact, was a national Let’s Talk day here in Canada. Β A day where if you are a Bell customer or anyone with a twitter account, can help “talk about mental health” When you text the will graciously donate a nickel to a mental health organization. Hashtag #letstalk and you’re spreading the word!Β 

You see this all the time, raising awareness for either cancer research, children in Africa and well the list goes on. Why this marketing campaign bothers me the most is because it’s obviously just that – a marketing campaign. Unlike any of the other fundraising techniques companies use, this particular one just simply tells you to use their service and ‘help’. Meanwhile they never actually mention the organizations that will be receiving the money, nor, do they ever go into what mental health is.

Mental health is way bigger then just depression. There are a whole range of disorders, that can easily affect anyone, any way at any point in their lives. Maybe I’m a bit bias, shouldn’t they use their power to properly educate first then donate?

HAPPY NEW!

It’s never too late to wish someone some good old fashion happiness! Hope you’ve had an amazing holiday season, and that the first week into 2014, and brought you nothing but excitement and inspiration to carry until next year.

It has been the busiest holiday season since a few years. If you me follow on Instagram you would have noticed that my sister was up, along with her husband, visiting from Halifax. Also there seems to be a never ending amount of ice, snow, and the most interesting of shoppers.Β 

Anyways – to top of the past two months, this week I have officially started school! Something major I have learnt about myself, I have become too comfortable at my current job. The very things that were driving me to go back to school, are the very things I want to go back to. The anxiety has been on over drive; all this newness is coming very fast. It has made this week very long, and very tiring. That being said, the beautiful people in my life have been very supportive in their own way this week! I keep going in everyday despite the strong urge to turn around at the doors and go back to bed. Thank you!Β 

“final goal, final goal, final goal.” 1 week down, 18 months to go. Bring. It.

Genetics can speak louder then words.

I was going to write about what OCD is, and how exactly it affects me, but then came across this tidbit and thought I’d share this first. As if it were a backstory. When I was in the middle of being diagnosed of having OCD, the therapist thought that I could have Obsessive Compulsive personality Disorder.

She feels that from the description of my parents that they are who’d I’d directly recieve it from. From the idea that they’d both would possibly have OCPD (they haven’t been diagnosed themselves) or from growing up around them and picking up their habits.

For me it wasn’t the case, but it was a nice eye opener.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)
The majority of people with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) do not have OCD, although these disorders are commonly confused. People with OCPD have personality traits reflecting extreme perfectionism, indecision, preoccupation with details and rules, and must have things their way with family, friends and colleagues. In addition, people with OCPD show excessive devotion to work and are often considered “workaholics.” They are over-conscientious and show little expression of affection or enjoyment with others. People would also recognize the person with OCPD to be “stingy.” While most people with OCD may report having one or maybe even two of these traits, a diagnosis of OCPD requires that the person have five of these traits and there are clear and important differences between these two diagnoses.

CAMH Toronto

Later Diamonds xo

Basic Happiness

Three weeks today, I came across the Paramedics wheeling away a homeless man that had sadly just past away. The security guard had placed his hand out to stop me, as they turned the gurney around to place it in the back of the ambulance. At, that moment, things slowed down as I looked at other people passing, I was the only one to acknowledge what was going on. I stared at his small collection of items. Amongst them, a Tim Hortons cup, a couple of ornaments, and a piece of cloth laid on top of the few milk crates stacked over a grate.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone living in the streets near death or past, every time it hits me harder and harder.

About a week ago, Peyman and I were out and about downtown when we past a man lying on the grate. It was Peyman who spoke first, and said “I have shoes that I could give him”, after noticing his bare feet tucked under near to him. Instead we decided to at least buy him some soup before heading home to get the shoes. We bought some hot soup and approach him.

“Thank you, but please keep it for yourself. I’ve had five people buy me meals today and I’m so full. I know if the soup gets cold I will not eat it. Please don’t waste it.”

It was then that Peyman offered his earlier idea of bringing him a pair of boots.

“No thank you. I already have shoes”Β He points to a pair of nikes with socks stuffed in them under his ‘pillow’ “only took them off because on this grate it’s just too hot!”

He was an inspiration to Peyman and I. He had so little, but found happiness in what he did have. I’ve been raised to feel this way, but sometimes I too, want more then I need.

Now, I could speak forever about the people living on the streets, and how many with homes, endless amount of food, cars and well anymore more then the basic necessities to survive (basic being food and shelter) consistently either don’t care or misunderstand what being poor really means. I could get political and talk about the way mental health is dealt with – but I will not.

Instead, I hope you may find a little inspiration. That before you leave home in the morning, and when you arrive back at night that you take a deep breath and feel happy. Happy for the simple rewards of your hard work. For food, shelter and people who love you.

xo Later diamonds.