Question for your Monday.

Someone asks you a question in regards to your mental health (as in any signs you may show and can not hide) out of their own curiosity. You explain the situation to them on the best way you know. When they come back with a “O my it’s all in your head. Western doctors have to label everything. All you have to do is stop and it’ll be fine. You are perfectly normal and nothing is wrong”

How does it make you feel?

Please comment, and I will post my feelings later. Sorry, exam time is a crazy time.

Happy Monday!

Genetics can speak louder then words.

I was going to write about what OCD is, and how exactly it affects me, but then came across this tidbit and thought I’d share this first. As if it were a backstory. When I was in the middle of being diagnosed of having OCD, the therapist thought that I could have Obsessive Compulsive personality Disorder.

She feels that from the description of my parents that they are who’d I’d directly recieve it from. From the idea that they’d both would possibly have OCPD (they haven’t been diagnosed themselves) or from growing up around them and picking up their habits.

For me it wasn’t the case, but it was a nice eye opener.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)
The majority of people with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) do not have OCD, although these disorders are commonly confused. People with OCPD have personality traits reflecting extreme perfectionism, indecision, preoccupation with details and rules, and must have things their way with family, friends and colleagues. In addition, people with OCPD show excessive devotion to work and are often considered “workaholics.” They are over-conscientious and show little expression of affection or enjoyment with others. People would also recognize the person with OCPD to be “stingy.” While most people with OCD may report having one or maybe even two of these traits, a diagnosis of OCPD requires that the person have five of these traits and there are clear and important differences between these two diagnoses.

CAMH Toronto

Later Diamonds xo

Deodorant selection.

Taking my boyfriend’s advice today – staying home and relaxing before a busy few days ahead. That being said, this is the most time in one day I have ever sat to a computer and surfed online. The last time I was this ‘relaxed’ was quite a few years ago when the Sims game first came out… yes, that was a few years ago. Anyways this came across my mind while writing for a future post. 

How does one explain OCD to person who is only aware of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by the few most common stereotypes?

Most of the people who know I have it, just go along with whatever. Actually they ask me what I suffer with, bring up someone who they think ‘has it worse’, then tell me it’s weird and that because this other person ‘has it worse’ then it should be easy for me to -GET OVER IT. How I wish it wasn’t so.

One of the examples I use is when it comes to picking deodorant. I use only Adidas, for the big factor that it doesn’t have aluminium which may or may not lead to breast cancer – but better to be on the safe side. Anyways, Adidas deodorant comes in two scents for women. I am guaranteed to forget which scent is negative and which one is positive. Every time I will stand there thinking about it. They both have weird sku numbers, which doesn’t help either. After deciding to finally go for one of them, (which ever one feels safer) I’ll have to walk back and forth to the isle multiple times after to switch because as always I second guess. Eventually I panic my way to the check out where I hope for the best. 

Yes. This is easiest/fastest example to tell people, which usually leaves a blank expression on all faces, except a few close people. 

Happy ending to this story though – I think I finally figured out which one is positive and have written it down for future reference. O my notes of fearful forget. That is for another post. 

What is your quick example for others? Or do you just walk away and don’t bother?

Later Diamonds xoxo

Standing up for oneself.

How easy is it for you to take a stand for your opinion and your well being?

I find around me even the most shy of people can every once in a while stand up for themselves when they are pushed too far. 

This is a big default of mine. – I usually don’t. 

I read a lot of news and I’m heavenly interested in world politics, so when something happened that other may be bothered by (i.e. working weekends, standing in long lines, etc. etc.) I feel it’s just a first world problem. At work, I’m usually chill, though don’t get me wrong, when I feel something is unfair, I’ll rant for about 10min to a fellow co-worker then quickly get over the particular situation – until the past couple of weeks. Usually, when I’m treated rudely for something of the fault for others, I keep that inside for longer then just the 10min. The situation, and many other irrational after situations reply in my mind over and over just picking away.

But ——
Last night I ended up devoting 45 minutes of time, unpaid (overtime – what’s that?). When a suggestion was made, it was clearly they just didn’t care. So I stood up for myself. I feel it may have been handled unprofessionally, I did have a stern tone, and slamming the phone wasn’t the greatest option. I do get easily frustrated at times, especially when there is already too much going on in the brain. While I do a lot of things for people, I rarely get it back, which is okay. Going the extra mile for even strangers, is something my culture is known for, I take pride in that. It does hurt though, when I need it the most, and no friend is jumping to assist. (which is usually the only time when I ask for anything back) Of course when favours are returned, it’s with a sigh – which then makes it their problem not mine.

When is a good time to stand up for yourself? I was proud I didn’t just say okay and then head down, I actually said something! 

Guilt hit soon after. Others don’t seem to feel bad standing up, so what am I missing. I’ve had panic attacks, in the past when it comes to confronting people, what is different? I can not seem to find a happy middle… 

deep breath in, deep breath out.

Today is sunny and beautiful. Just watched the sunrise. It’s a new day, and I’m ready for it. Hope yours is as great as it can be, and you continue to find true happiness in small things.

Later Diamonds xo

You know – THAT day!

That type of bad day where everyone is cheering about something, yet all that seems to be happening to you, is anything but happiness. The past week and a half has been on and off (mostly – ON) for being in a horrible mood. It usually has my franticly thinking, what did I forget in my order, or what object did I move at home, what bad word was said, karmakarmakarmakarma. Every time I get excited about something, it never goes well, so without bitterness (or too much of it anyways) I just try to stick it to the back of my mind and wait until that great thing arrives. Well today’s moment wasn’t that great, but it really made me feel better, even it is just a pair of fuzzy slippers. 

Beside some of my co-workers, even the customers have been treating me in such a way, I was really starting to take it all personal. Then after a quiet moment during a short shopping break, I saw these slippers that would be really funny for the boyfriend, the simple act of kindness would also cheer him up during his mid-terms. With that I realized, tho I’m still slowly shifting through life, I have to get over myself if I think people really are out to get just me. After break I heard from a few co-worker their crazy customer stories.

Anyways point is I already know this week will be better because I found something to smile about. That being said, my camera isn’t working properly (Christmas deals are close though, who see new camera on the horizon ?!?) so it’ll be a little while longer before a speaking video is up. My laptop did manage to find old videos off my phone though, so I played around with a couple of clips of my cat Mr. Sushi and will post it here of course. Who knows it may just brighten a moment in your bad day!

Later Diamonds xoxo