Awake and Breathing. Finally.

Spring time is finally here!

I don’t think anyone could not feel happy around this time of year. This spring may even beat Christmas in happiness after this past winter. Though its still very chilly the sun is shining brighter for longer, which makes me happy. This year I’ve been too busy to let my body feel that horrible sadness of vitamin D deficiency. There have been bad days but a lot fewer then previous years. School is going well and I have strong hopes that it will opens doors for me. 

I know it’s been a while. I will spare you the excuses, but delight you with – “school is coming upon it’s final couple of weeks, where I will have a full two weeks to catch up with life” The urge to push this blog somewhere is at the front of my mind (mixed with the laws of Canada and other exciting school things etc etc)

Happy Spring ladies and gentlemen!

Nakita XO

Just a quick video, to say hello and introduce myself. I was feeling pretty badass this morning and had a coffee, which makes the twitching worse – but who cares, I did something today that scares me, and started to overcome that fear of always being laughed at.

What is something great you did today?

Happy Thursday!

Smiles are plentiful.

Lately as I approach yet another birthday where I am not yet Queen of the world, I find myself really people watching. From eye colors, to size of waistlines, to the fabrics they choose wear that particular day. I have found that the most interesting of people, from singletons, to full families, as strange as common society may find them they appear to be the happiest of all. As Sunday becomes another day closer I am happy to be on the “o you are so unique, and… nice” side of things. It’s happier and safer here.
Best of all, I find myself smiling a lot more.

No How To Manuals on Laughing

It’s spring, and the bitter cold weather appears to have disappeared for hopefully at least another 5 months. I can feel the sun on my face and a smile arises. Yet, I feel confused. Why is my anxiety not leaving. Trying to hard to read into my dreams, to meditate more while not falling into my harsh old ways. (see  Scrupulosity) It is difficult at this time as I re-evaluate the path in life I have chosen, and if it remains the right one for the ‘new’ me.

The chest pains are beginning to overwhelm my body. Today at work I had to sit – on the floor, as I didn’t quite make it to the chair. Co-workers questioned the quick response, and for the first time I couldn’t bother to explain. “McDonald’s” I replied. We had a good laugh, which actually made me feel better 🙂

So the sun is here, and I’m forcing happiness into my body and my brain. I will beat you sad times, beware!

No hassle-free refund here.

When facing a confrontation, (after much severely stressing about it) the Tourette’s appears in full force. So not only am I stuttering, but twitching too. My words never come out as they are intended and usually ends with me crying like a five year old who was just told Santa isn’t real. Somedays I wish Tourette’s weren’t real.

Perfectly silent. Perfectly still.