Awake and Breathing. Finally.

Spring time is finally here!

I don’t think anyone could not feel happy around this time of year. This spring may even beat Christmas in happiness after this past winter. Though its still very chilly the sun is shining brighter for longer, which makes me happy. This year I’ve been too busy to let my body feel that horrible sadness of vitamin D deficiency. There have been bad days but a lot fewer then previous years. School is going well and I have strong hopes that it will opens doors for me. 

I know it’s been a while. I will spare you the excuses, but delight you with – “school is coming upon it’s final couple of weeks, where I will have a full two weeks to catch up with life” The urge to push this blog somewhere is at the front of my mind (mixed with the laws of Canada and other exciting school things etc etc)

Happy Spring ladies and gentlemen!

Nakita XO

Question for your Monday.

Someone asks you a question in regards to your mental health (as in any signs you may show and can not hide) out of their own curiosity. You explain the situation to them on the best way you know. When they come back with a “O my it’s all in your head. Western doctors have to label everything. All you have to do is stop and it’ll be fine. You are perfectly normal and nothing is wrong”

How does it make you feel?

Please comment, and I will post my feelings later. Sorry, exam time is a crazy time.

Happy Monday!

I love new things, but sometimes taking a few moments to shift through things can bring back mixed memories. What I was cleaning was my “google search” findings. Ever Google search yourself? Sometimes things can resurface after a few years have past. What I found appearing on the first page of my name was an old blog. I created it as a lifestyle/fashion blog, and well — it never made it past 28 posts. Anyways I saved some of the lovely photos I had posted on there before deleting the blog completely. (it was a happy moment, the blog happened around some trying times that I’m pleased are behind me!) 

These photos are ones I must share again. They are screen shots of a family film a cousin of mine made. Dad’s side of the family mostly, but of course, being from the small town Mom makes her appearance as well. Hope you enjoy them almost as much as I do.

ImageImageImageImageImageImage 
My favourite photo, my grandmother. She past a few years ago, and not a week passes when I don’t think of her for guidance.

Have a super awesome Friday night! Also hope your country does well during the Olympics, despite all the controversy. 

Later Diamonds xo

The Bigger Photograph

Last week, a Wednesday to be exact, was a national Let’s Talk day here in Canada.  A day where if you are a Bell customer or anyone with a twitter account, can help “talk about mental health” When you text the will graciously donate a nickel to a mental health organization. Hashtag #letstalk and you’re spreading the word! 

You see this all the time, raising awareness for either cancer research, children in Africa and well the list goes on. Why this marketing campaign bothers me the most is because it’s obviously just that – a marketing campaign. Unlike any of the other fundraising techniques companies use, this particular one just simply tells you to use their service and ‘help’. Meanwhile they never actually mention the organizations that will be receiving the money, nor, do they ever go into what mental health is.

Mental health is way bigger then just depression. There are a whole range of disorders, that can easily affect anyone, any way at any point in their lives. Maybe I’m a bit bias, shouldn’t they use their power to properly educate first then donate?

Standing up for oneself.

How easy is it for you to take a stand for your opinion and your well being?

I find around me even the most shy of people can every once in a while stand up for themselves when they are pushed too far. 

This is a big default of mine. – I usually don’t. 

I read a lot of news and I’m heavenly interested in world politics, so when something happened that other may be bothered by (i.e. working weekends, standing in long lines, etc. etc.) I feel it’s just a first world problem. At work, I’m usually chill, though don’t get me wrong, when I feel something is unfair, I’ll rant for about 10min to a fellow co-worker then quickly get over the particular situation – until the past couple of weeks. Usually, when I’m treated rudely for something of the fault for others, I keep that inside for longer then just the 10min. The situation, and many other irrational after situations reply in my mind over and over just picking away.

But ——
Last night I ended up devoting 45 minutes of time, unpaid (overtime – what’s that?). When a suggestion was made, it was clearly they just didn’t care. So I stood up for myself. I feel it may have been handled unprofessionally, I did have a stern tone, and slamming the phone wasn’t the greatest option. I do get easily frustrated at times, especially when there is already too much going on in the brain. While I do a lot of things for people, I rarely get it back, which is okay. Going the extra mile for even strangers, is something my culture is known for, I take pride in that. It does hurt though, when I need it the most, and no friend is jumping to assist. (which is usually the only time when I ask for anything back) Of course when favours are returned, it’s with a sigh – which then makes it their problem not mine.

When is a good time to stand up for yourself? I was proud I didn’t just say okay and then head down, I actually said something! 

Guilt hit soon after. Others don’t seem to feel bad standing up, so what am I missing. I’ve had panic attacks, in the past when it comes to confronting people, what is different? I can not seem to find a happy middle… 

deep breath in, deep breath out.

Today is sunny and beautiful. Just watched the sunrise. It’s a new day, and I’m ready for it. Hope yours is as great as it can be, and you continue to find true happiness in small things.

Later Diamonds xo