My tears show only for strengh, in circles of rejection.

I’m a pretty positive person. I believe people are born kind and raised to misunderstand. The sun is always shining, it’s the biggest star there is. If you fight hard enough for something, it will always turn out okay, and one day you will laugh at the rough times.

After 3 years, a thousand applications, interviews, and rejections I have found a second job. It’s a casual hire position through a local university’s bookstore. I’m working with a bunch of 20-somethings, that have yet to see 30 on the horizon. This particular job is helping out with graduates to choose to frame their expensive degrees. From Bachalors to Doctorates, hundreds of new graduates, some excited, some are crying, others are too casual, like a degree is something you can find in a convience store.

It always leaves me in mixed emotions..

I have been through more downfalls then successes. I have faced alot of rejection, from many angles. Still, I somehow find the courage and the people to help me keep fighting. I am anxious to get back to school, as it’s the only way I’ll see myself out of retail. I don’t make enough to pay my way, and student loans are no longer an option. I have no option but to get a second job, find a cheaper apartment, and save as if I’ll lose it all tomorrow. It may appear to most that my life is a consistant dead end. I came, tried, failed, now move to the side and settle. Let others take care of me?

For this thought, tears appear. Work hard and arrive no where but back at the start.

Laughter arrives, as it has since birth, after every cry.

I get back into the fight, because I realise tomorrow the sun will make the city streets brighter, even if it rains. My boyfriend will call even when he can’t. I will always find a way to keep food and shelter on my side. I will always have it all, if only in my mind.

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